At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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