No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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