I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This baby is an asshole
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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