at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
