Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
