So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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