how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
