I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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