His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
