talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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