wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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