We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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