Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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