I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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