I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
