Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's shark week go big or go home
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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