you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
