I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
