I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
