fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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