And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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