Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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