I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
