I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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