im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ttyl tear gas
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
