That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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