We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
operation have a gay friend backfired
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
