Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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