i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
