The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
