Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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