That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
