and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
