and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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