We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize