What a fucking waste of an outfit
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
