We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
