Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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