Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
