some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
