Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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