you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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