I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
