the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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