used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
