if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
