All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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