Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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