I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I look better un-naked...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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