Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
