There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
