Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
