well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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