Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
