I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
