i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
