theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
