it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
