Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
