put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
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david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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