if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize