what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
