Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
