I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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